If there's one area in which I can agree with the KKK, the white race is going the way of the dodo. According to Neo-Nazi "literature," white people are like glasses of milk. Add a drop of Hershey's syrup to the mix, and BAM! you've got yourself chocolate people. Now supposing we could be certain... Continue Reading →
The Last Jedi Was OK!
Hatred for the latest installment in the Star Wars saga, Episode VIII: the Last Jedi, is turning into a frenzy on YouTube, with fans petitioning to have Lucasfilm remove the movie from canon. We have not seen this level of vitriol since the prequel films. But what people tend to forget, time and time again,... Continue Reading →
Aenya Newsletter 12/20/2017
Whoo-Boy. A lot's been going on, so let's get to it. Ages of Aenya As you probably know, Ages of Aenya finally became available last month, and sales have been brisk. It's great knowing people from as far as Europe and the UK have read the story and have had nothing but good things to... Continue Reading →
Underwhelmed by the Force
I know what people are going to say. First, I am going to get accused of click-baiting. The only reason I am criticizing this film is to get attention, they'll say. This is, perhaps, what is most depressing. Social media creates peer pressure, to the point where you're afraid to voice your true feelings. Whether it's 97% for Star... Continue Reading →
Answering the Lucas Haters
This post is going to be something different, an on-going series that I will be continuously updating to answer the haters' complaints about George Lucas and the Star Wars films. All the Lucas-bashing reminds me of the way I was bullied as a kid. Between 6th and 8th grade, I was mercilessly teased by pretty much the entire class, because... Continue Reading →
In Defense of George Lucas
Now I want to make a few things clear. I am not a "Lucas apologist." I have not convinced myself to like his movies, nor have I been blinded by love for all things Star Wars, nor do I "suck at the teat of George Lucas." I genuinely, sincerely, and in all honesty believe the... Continue Reading →
Bob strikes back at “Attack of the Clones” naysayers*
Bob Clark’s excellent, albeit lengthy article is best summed up by his final paragraph, “Simply put, after all these years, the conversation surrounding them hasn’t ended, and isn’t likely to cease any time soon, as passionate supporters seek to defend it, even in the face of overwhelming objecting opinions. The fact that so many people are still talking about these films, even to decry their motives and attack their substance, stands as proof positive enough that they succeeded in making a permanent mark with audiences, providing a series of expert escapist adventure every bit as disturbing and thought-provoking as they are entertaining– love it or hate it, the movie remains a frequent talking point, and that makes it a modern classic.” I have made similar arguments in my own reviews. The Star Wars prequels remain true works of art; the proof is in the way they are continually discussed and debated. Poor films are forgotten. Lucas’ magnum opus has never been, and will likely never be.
Star Wars—Episode II: Attack of the Clones
By Bob Clark
Prologue: Guilty Pleasures
In Milan Kundera’s 1984 novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being, the respected surgeon Tomas finds himself unable to find work after returning to Soviet-occupied Prague, thanks to his refusal to recant an article he’d written prior to the 1968 invasion of Czechoslovakia. The matter of his article makes for one of the most persuasive readings of Greek mythology—a political interpretation of Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex. According to Tomas, the Communists of his country who claimed to be unaware of the Soviet Union’s atrocities were just as guilty as Oedipus, the Theban king who brought plagues upon his kingdom by unwittingly marrying his mother. “As a result of your ‘not knowing,’ this country has lost its freedom…” writes Kundera. “And you shout that you feel no guilt? How can you stand the sight of what you’ve…
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Attack of the Clones v. Return of the Jedi
After watching Attack of the Clones with my 11 year old daughter, she sent me this drawing of her lightsaber. I remember doing the same thing after seeing The Empire Strikes Back in 1980, rushing home to draw monsters and spaceships. This is all the proof I need that Lucas hasn't failed, at least when it comes to inspiring a generation of kids. After a... Continue Reading →
I Love The Phantom Menace
Here is my defense of one of my favorite, oft hated movies, “Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace,” updated 11/05/2015
I love The Phantom Menace. There. My secret’s out.
Saying that feels like saying I love Al-Qaeda. On the Internet, you might think hate for George Lucas has surpassed hatred for Osama Bin-Laden, particularly after his recent decision to yet again alter the Star Wars Saga for the upcoming Blu-Ray release. The controversy between what some call Lucas “apologists” and Star Wars “purists” brings to mind Catholic and Protestant, Muslim and Hindu, Scientist and Creationist. The same deep seated convictions stir the hearts and minds of both groups of fans. Never mind the global economic crisis, the revolutions taking place throughout the Islamic world or the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, this is STAR WARS! That anyone should care so deeply about a movie is unquestionably absurd, but I find myself inexplicably drawn to this controversy. I can’t help but feel angry by this hatred for a filmmaker who has given so much to my generation. Imagine someone gives…
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Star Wars VII: The Same Thing
I seem to come from an alternate dimension, one in which the Star Wars prequels were great, and loved by all. In my universe, I distinctly remember my friends and I raving about Episode I, and how it made a gajillion dollars at the box office, and how even Rotten Tomatoes gave each of the... Continue Reading →
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